


Things left to say

by FandomTrashbin



Series: I'll be yours. Will you be mine? (Reed900 Drabble Collection) [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gavin900, M/M, Oneshot, reed900
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 04:45:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15574080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomTrashbin/pseuds/FandomTrashbin
Summary: Gavin hesitates to take RK900 with him when visiting his mother for her birthday. Things take an unexpected turn when another person shows up - a person whose guts the detective hates more than most people he knows...





	Things left to say

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!  
> Do not read if you are sensitive to graphic mentions of violence, alcoholism or domestic abuse. Stay safe! ♡
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this! There's quite many tears in this one, though.  
> I hope y'all enjoy character's suffering as much as I do, eheh... (Okay I'm really sorry for that one.) Why is it, though, that when I'm writing myself I'm like "A little trauma here, a little PTSD there, EVERYONE'S GOING THROUGH HELL OH YEAH AHAHAHAHAAA", but when I'm reading it, I'm like "nnnnooooOOOOOOOOOO L E A V E M Y B A B I E S A L O N E ???????" 
> 
> Anyway here's Wonderwa-  
> I mean. A little Reed900 oneshot.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! Let me know in the comments, please and thanks! ♡
> 
> One last thing: This oneshot is NOT directly connected to the other two I already posted, though you should keep Gavin's still not fully healed gunshot wounds in mind.  
> Just so you know! Happy reading!

"Are you..." Gavin cleared his throat. He didn't quite manage to look at his android partner. Only occasionally, he glanced to him. "Are you sure you're okay with it? I don't wanna freak you out."  
"Why, I don't think I would 'freak out'", Nines replied. He didn't return Gavin's look, he was too busy rocking Dot-Dot in his arms, who purred loudly and drooled all over the android's jacket. Then, he finally looked to Gavin. "I would love to meet your mother. My biggest concern is what she is going to say."  
"It was always my dad who hated androids", Gavin shrugged. "My mom never did. She always treated them with respect and would probably love you."  
"Then I do not see a reason as to why I should not come with you." The android paused. "Unless you would prefer to travel alone."  
"No", Gavin sighed. He leaned back, rubbing his hands over his face. "No, I'm just... I don't know. Yeah, maybe it is the best you're coming with me." He sank his hands. "We should probably get going at like, 8am tomorrow or something. Detroit to Chicago is about four hours with the car."  
"As you say, detective", the android replied.  
  
~~~  
  
The car ride was almost entirely in silence.  
Gavin was driving himself instead of letting the auto pilot doing the work - he also didn't use the navigation system. He knew every curve they had to take by heart. The detective pretended like he didn't notice Nines glancing at him; at least for the first hour. "What are you staring at, tin can? Don't like the why I drive?", Gavin snorted at some point.  
"Your seat is adjusted correctly, you are wearing a seatbelt, and you are driving at the speed limit", Nines retorted. "Furthermore, both of your hands are at the steering wheel and you are in perfect control of the vehicle. I do not see anything wrong with your driving."  
"Then why are you looking at me like you think I'm gonna swerve right into the guard rail at any given moment?", Gavin asked. He actually didn't really mean to sound snappy, but he did anyway.  
"The serotonin and noradrenalin levels in your blood are notably low. You are not only stressed, but also irritated and upset. I am merely worried about your mental well-being."  
"I'm fine."  
"That is a lie."  
"I swear to god, if you don't fuck off, I'm _gonna_ swerve the car into the guard rail."  
Nines kept quiet.  
Almost immediately, Reed felt a slight hint of guilt gnawing in his guts. With his jaw clenched, he kept driving.  
  
~~~  
  
Slowly, Gavin stopped the car in the parking lot. "Alright", he said, quietly. "We're here." He glanced to Nines, who had his eyes closed and opened them now.  
The android looked outside, then looked to the detective.  
Without a word, Gavin got out the car and lead the way. Before passing the gate, he stopped at a flower shop and bought a small bouquet of purple tulips.  
Nines kept quiet the entire time. He waited outside the flower shop.  
"My mother always loved tulips", Gavin said, staring at the flowers in his hand. "She likes them better than roses. When we were still living in the suburbs, our whole garden was filled with them." He swallowed hard, his teeth gritted. "Come on, let's go. She's waiting."  
"Yes, detective."  
The way was actually quite short - the crossed the street, entering the gate to a large park.  
Nines looked around. Everything was tidy, quiet and peaceful. Weeping willows were planted every here and there, the grass was green, even on this rainy day.  
Gavin blinked hard. Then, he stepped on a smaller path, went another twenty feet, and stopped. For a minute, he just stood there, staring at his feet. Then, he slowly, slowly sank to his knees.  
"Hi, mom", he said, quietly. "Happy Birthday."  
Again, he gulped. He was shaking, trying to compose himself.  
"I... I brought you flowers. Tulips. Purple. Just like you always loved them." Carefully, as though they would disintegrate into dust if he moved too quickly, he put the tulips in the small hole in the ground that was intended to hold flowers. For a second, he didn't say anything. "I'm sorry that I didn't come last month. Work's crazy. So many cases of deviant androids, it's..." Shakingly, he exhaled. He closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again and continuing talking. "I miss you. I really, really miss you. I can't believe it's been twenty years I heard your voice." Quickly, he lifted his hand to his mouth, pressing it on his lips. The sob still percolated through, he removed his hand, inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to keep the last bit of composure he had. "I... There is someone I'd like you to meet, by the way." He looked up to Nines.  
His vision was completely blurry, so he couldn't see the android's face. Slowly, RK900 sank on his knees next to him.  
"Hello, Mrs. Reed", he said. "My name is Nines. I'm the android sent by CyberLife in order to support the investigations at the Detroit Police Department, and I have the pleasure to be working with your son. It is an honor to finally meet you." He looked to Gavin, who was returning the gaze.  
The detectice was pale, his nose and eyes were red and filled with tears, but he was smiling. The smile was full of pain and sadness, but it was genuine.  
900 turned back to the gravestone in front of him. "I would like to let you know that I will be eternally grateful for the son you raised", he said. "He may be irritated and angry at times, but I think he is an intriguing person. He is smart and quick-witted, and is ready to stand up for the things he believes in." Now, Nines couldn't help but smile as well. "It is a pity you are not here to see him as a living person, but I am certain that contrary to scientific evidence, you are still with him and watching over him as a... supernatural entity."  
Gavin looked away. He covered his mouth with one hand, his eyes closed shut, while tears were running down his face like the rain that now started falling from the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance. He was shaking, trying his best to keep his sobs in, as he felt an arm lay around his shoulder and pulling him close. His whole body tensed up - Nines holding him made it even harder for him not to break down, but he couldn't, he didn't want to, he couldn't show weakness, not now, not in front of the android. Not in public - even though no one was here except for them.  
It took him a while until he managed to choke back his sobs entirely. Or to make his tears stop from running. His voice was still cracked as he talked, but as much as he wanted to stay, he couldn't bear having to look at the gravestone with his mother's name on it any longer, but he also couldn't just get up and leave. "Bye, mom", he said, hoarsely. "See you soon. I love you."  
"Goodbye, Mrs. Reed", Nines added, as he pulled Gavin on his feet.  
It was only when they had already turned to leave when Gavin quietly said, "Call her Joanne. It's what she would have wanted."  
Nines smiled lightly. "Yes, detective."  
  
They hadn't made it off the small path where the gravestone was placed, as another person stepped on the trail.  
Gavin stopped dead in tracks.  
His stomach turned around - no, it didn't just turn, it somersaulted.  
"Detective Reed? Are you alright?", his android asked.  
Gavin swallowed hard. He couldn't take his eyes from the figure that had stopped as well at the end of the path where it merged into the broader main trail again.  
Before he could reply to his android, the other man looked up.  
He didn't look much different than last time Gavin had seen him. Greasy hair with a receding hairline, stubble, shirt with food stains on it. He had gained some weight, but still seemed in a rather well shape for his age. "What are you doing here?", he asked. His voice was raspy.  
"I could ask you the same", Gavin managed to force out.  
"I'm visiting my wife."  
Immediately, the grief in Gavin was replaced by anger. "You don't have the right to be here", he spat. "She wouldn't be six feet under if it wasn't for you."  
Mr. Reed let out a snorting laughter without any humour in it. "Have you ever thought about how I might have changed?"  
A shudder went through Gavin's body; it started trembling again, while his hands slowly balled to fists. "You haven't changed", he growled. "You used to tell her that, too, she believed you, and then you killed her. You fucking killed her, because you would rather see her dead than with anybody else, and your sick ass should be in jail because of it."  
"You wish I was", the other man huffed. "I sat nineteen years because of you. Got out last month instead of in three years because of good behaviour." A cruel grin spread on his face as he spoke.  
"You should've gotten life sentence", Gavin hissed.  
"And you should've gotten aborted, like I told your whore of a mother", his father barked, changing his voice from cold to aggressive as well. "But no! She had to keep you and your punk ass brother, but at least he achieved something in his miserable life. Other than you. Just look at your sorry ass. A fucking detective. And what the hell is that? They even gave you an upgraded toaster as a babysitter. You are a pathetic excuse of a human, just like your mother was."  
"Say that again." Gavin made a slow step towards his father.  
" _Pathetic_ ", Mr. Reed repeated, his lips forming the words in a more exaggerated manner than normal. "Just like your mother."  
"Get out. Get the fuck out, before I lose my shit and beat you up."  
"I wanna see you try." Now, Gavin's father came closer as well, until he was right in front of him. The detective was slightly smaller - he had too look up a little. "And even if you had the guts and strength to actually throw a counting punch, it won't erase how you didn't have it twenty years ago", he hissed.  
These were the words that made him snap. Blinded by rage, yet precise enough to make the other man stumble backwards, he threw his closed fist against his father's cheekbone.  
Mr. Reed staggered, but straightened up almost immediately. He looked back at his son. "Huh", he made. "Not bad for a little bitch like you."  
Gavin had to restrain himself from swinging at him another time. But even if he couldn't have held himself back - he wouldn't have been fast enough to make it count.  
His father was faster.  
The punch wasn't into his face - it was probably meant to be somewhere around his stomach, but out of pure reflex, Gavin turned to the side; only to immediately regret it.  
The pain almost made him vomit on the spot.  
It was as though his left lung was suddenly pulsing - it sent hot waves of sharp stings through his entire body, making it nearly impossible for him to take another breath. The fact that his air supply seemed to be cut off automatically let adrenaline rush into his veins. He panicked. Slowly, not being able to hold himself on his legs anymore, he sank to his knees.  
Far away, he heard his father laughing. "I take back what I said. Going down from one punch? You're even more of a pussy than you were twenty years ago."  
Gavin wanted to respond, but the air still hadn't found its way back into his lungs. The shame and embarrassment, and most of all, self-hatred, which was usually reserved for sleepless nights, made it additionally harder to breathe; heat rose into his face. He was so focused on trying not to black out, he didn't even really catch the shadow that moved past him. The detective's vision was blurry, his own heartbeat hammered in his ears - still, he was able to catch Nines' words.  
The android talked in an incredibly calm manner; yet, the absolute coldness in his voice almost made Gavin shiver, even though it was not directed at him.  
"I heavily suggest you to leave, Mr. Reed", he said. "Otherwise I will have to arrest you for threatening and assaulting an off-duty officer of the Detroit Police Department."  
"Arrest _this_ , asshole", the other man spat, and Gavin registered how he swung at the RK unit without having to look up - the movement was followed by a quiet grunt, as the android caught the fist in his palm, locking his fingers around it, and squeezing it hard enough to induce pain. "This is your last chance, Mr. Reed. Leave and do not return ever again, or I am going to make you regret touching Gavin with your fingertip so hard you wish you'd never left your prison cell." Alone his hushed voice, which was on the verge of what humans knew as growling, should have been enough of a warning, but Gavin's father didn't even think of letting it go.  
"Fuck you", he hissed - his second hand rose, but again, it was caught by the android.  
With absolute ease, almost graceful, showing off RK900's potential to lethality, he turned the man's wrists, and in a swift movement only few humans could ever hope to be able to imitate he twisted Mr. Reed's arms on his back, kneeled him in the stomach and threw him on the ground. Looming over him, Nines made a step forward, ready to pick his partner's father up to teach him the manners he was obviously lacking - stopping dead in tracks as he felt a slight touch on his leg.  
"Don't", he choked. "You'll get in trouble. This cunt's not worth it."  
Nines visibly hesitated - trying to decide whether or not to obey the detective's request, but before he could, Mr. Reed picked himself up from the ground and got up, reeling. "You're still a pussy", he sneered at Gavin, though he sounded slightly out of breath. "You let this fucking piece of plastic protect you like a ten year old girl. Lemme tell you a little secret, though. Not even your little toy here is gonna bring your mother back to life." Without waiting for Gavin to respond, he turned around and walked away with big, fast steps.  
Nines immediately sank on one knee. "Detective, are you alright?"  
"Yeah", he lied, pushing away Nines' hands, which the android had laid on his shoulders to help him get up. "I'm fine. I don't need your help." He almost flinched as he heard himself speak. His voice sounded cold - almost not like his own. More like his father's.  
Nines noticed the sudden change in Gavin's behaviour immediately - slightly taken aback, he removed his hands from Gavin, waited until the detective had gotten up, though, before getting on his feet as well.  
"Let's just... let's get out of here", Reed only said. As Nines lead the way, he looked over his shoulder, back at his mother's grave one last time. His teeth clenched, just like his fists, and as he turned forward to follow the android, the sky opened its watergates. Big drops started falling, and Reed couldn't help but be grateful for them. This way, nobody could see the tears that were running down his face.  
  
~~~  
  
It was one of these drives where Gavin wished he was alone. It was a lot more difficult to drive in a straight line with his whole body tensed up, focusing on not breaking down and/or swerving the car into the oncoming traffic or the guide rail instead of just putting the car on auto-pilot, curl up in the backseat and venting the raging storm of feelings into the silent solitude of the car.  
"Detective", RK900 said, quietly. "You seem upset. I don't think you should be driving."  
"I'm fucking fine." Gavin was grabbing the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. The fact that the android knew about how he was not fine at all made it only harder for him.  
"Detective Ree-"  
"Stop talking."  
"I really th-"  
"STOP. TALKING. FUCK OFF. TA GUEULE. CHUIDI IL BECCO. HALT'S MAUL. WHAT LANGUAGE DO I HAVE TO SPEAK FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!", he finally exploded.  
Nines kept quiet. His LED flickered yellow for a moment. Then, the car's display went yellow as well - the steering wheel gently tilted to the right, the car slowed down.  
Nines was pulling the car over onto a small inlet - the road was running right next to a forest and on the side facing the trees, there was no guard rail.  
With a boiling look in his eyes, Reed looked over to the android.  
"You are on the very edge of a panic attack, Gavin", Nines replied to the unasked question. "For your own safety, I pulled us over, before-"  
"I AM NOT. IN THE VERGE. OF A PANIC ATTACK! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Out of every lie Gavin had ever told, this one was probably one of the biggest. He almost choked on his own breathing - it was like his lung threatened to collapse a second time. Every noise was way louder than usually all of the sudden, the air in the car seemed to boil. The world around him was spinning, he felt dizzy - he could hear his android talk, but his brain couldn't process the words into anything coherent. His hands not feeling like his own, he jerked the seatbelt away from his body, opened the car door and stumbled out of the car. He managed to stagger a few steps, before falling onto his knees.  
And even though the noises of the cars driving by were almost insufferable to him, being outside certainly was a relief; the air was fresh and cool after the rain, the dirt under his knees and hands as well. He was shaking, knowing that the panic attack Nines had announced was imminent.  
As though his thoughts had called him, the android sank next to him. "Detective, am I allowed to touch you, or would you prefer me helping you in another way?", he asked.  
Gavin couldn't even answer. All he did was turning towards him a bit, before basically collapsing in the RK unit's arms. He tried to breathe, but his attempts were prevented by stiffled sobs coming over his lips, which turned into heartwretching cries, as he covered his mouth with one hand, the other one cramped in RK900's jacket. He felt hot shame burning in his stomach, but it was secondary - right now, he tried his best not to suffocate.  
Everything was spinning, and it felt as though he was falling endlessly, falling, falling, falling...  
Until, through the haze, he felt RK's hands on him. One of them was gently curling its fingers in his hair, while the other one was rubbing in circles over his back.  
"It's okay, Gavin", he whispered. "It's alright, I'm here. He won't hurt you anymore. What's in the past is in the past, and though I know humans have difficulties dealing with loss, I want you to know that I'll be here for you."  
It was like an anchor for him to hold onto; and after minutes that felt like hours of clinging onto him, he finally felt his heartbeat steadying. The weight that seemed to crush his lungs slowly disappeared.  
Still shaking, the detective didn't dare to let go of his android just yet. He kept his forehead leaned against Nines' collarbone, taking comfort of the simple, gentle touchings and gestures, and the android's soft words. After some more time - his legs had already gone numb, Nines had resorted to silence - Gavin managed to form words again without being interrupted by his own sobs. His voice was cracked and raspy, but at least he didn't cry anymore. "Today isn't just my mom's birthday", he whispered. "It's also her death's anniversary."  
Nines didn't respond.  
Gavin kept talking. "I remember as if it happened yesterday. My brother and I, we grew up in, well... not the wealthiest family. But we made as much of it as we could."  
He swallowed hard - a small smile flashed over his lips, gone as fast as it had come.  
"Dad wasn't home. So Mom, my brother and I had a little party to celebrate her birthday. My brother and I didn't have any money back then, since we both were Highschool sophomores and didn't have jobs yet. We wanted to, in order to support our family, but Mom never let us. She said the little time we got next to school was for us and we should spend it doing stuff we enjoyed."  
As he spoke of his mother, tears swelled up in his eyes again. He blinked them away.  
"In the evening - my brother had already gone to visit some friends - my Dad came home, and... he was drunk, as usual. Both my Mom and me tried to avoid him, but that never worked anyway, and that night was no exception."  
Slowly, Gavin closed his eyes.  
"He started hitting her. Again. And again. And again. And I just... I couldn't watch, so I intervened. I ripped him away from her and threw him against the table, and I finally told him what I had wanted to tell him for years. That he was a heartless bastard, a shitty ass father, and that I... that I fucking hated him. And if he touched Mom another time, I'd make him regret it."  
Gavin exhaled. After a short break, he carried on.  
"He just... laughed. And he got up, grabbed the bottle of beer he had dropped, shattered it on the table and started to try and stab me."  
Slowly, he raised his face to look at Nines. He gulped again, then gestured to his nose. "I always tell people I got it on the job, but the scar actually came from a glass splinter edge of the bottle. After he couldn't reach me by hitting me with it, he threw it into my face. The original cut was larger, but it's not really visible anymore." With a certain shame, Gavin looked down. "I got blood in my eyes and it blurred my vision. That made it possible for him to score some hits. Pretty bad ones, to be exact. I was almost unconscious, and then..." Again, he had to close his eyes and exhale to keep his composure. "He started to choke me. He tried, in all genuineness, to kill me. And he would have gotten through with it, if my Mom wouldn't have grabbed the bottle he'd dropped and smashed it against his head. When he finally let go of me, I couldn't... I couldn't move. I was too weak. My mother yelled at me to run, to get myself to safety, but I could just... lay there. Having to watch my father punch her right in the throat. She went down immediately, but he didn't stop. He took her head and... smashed it against the edge of the table. Five times." In tears again, he buried his face in his hands. Nines pulled him close, as he finished the story. "Just in that moment, my brother came home with some friends. They were three people, and they managed to knock him out. They immediately called the police and ambulance, but... there was no help they could provide that would have saved my Mom. It was too late. She died because I wasn't strong enough to protect her like she always protected my brother and me."  
For a moment, he tried to bite back his sobs, but as he felt Nines gently kiss the top of his head, he gave in. He was done trying to be strong, to hold it all in. Twenty years of never talking about it to anyone had taken its toll.  
Not trying to hold it back for once was quite a relief. He calmed down way faster than usually, but maybe that was because he had cried so much already. As he got his composure back, he added: "They gave him fifteen years at first, but I managed to get the jury to make it twenty two with my testimony. But as we got out just now, he sat only nineteen." He huffed. "I'm still pissed they didn't give him life sentence. But apparently, that's too much ask for." Gavin lightly shook his head. "After what happened, I was determined to become a cop. Every time I get assigned to a case that involves domestic abuse, I'm the first one to find that motherfucker. Nobody should ever have to go through that and have to live with the guilt of not being strong enough to protect their own fucking mother."  
"Gavin", RK900 finally said.  
Hearing his name, he looked up.  
900 was smiling softly, cupping the detective's face. "In no way are you responsible for your mother's death. No way. You did everything in your power trying to protect her. It is not your fault."  
"I... I know, but-"  
"There is no 'but', detective." With his thumb, the android wiped Reed's tears. "Your mother would be so proud to see you, having grown up and become a person to help people in need, to spread justice. I certainly doubt she would want you to blame yourself for her passing."  
Gavin couldn't answer. He stared at Nines chest.  
The RK unit kissed him on the forehead and laid his arms around him - this time, Gavin returned the hug.  
"Can we go home?", he muffled into 900's shoulder. "I miss my kids."  
With kids, he meant his cats.  
Reed didn't have to see Nines' face to know he was smiling.  
"Of course, detective."

**Author's Note:**

> GAH, I just noticed the formatting is fucked up once again. I should REALLY stop writing shit on my phone. (/ -) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little drabble! I'm already on the next one - which will very likely be the one where we are finally going to meet Gavin's brother... 
> 
> See you next time, hopefully!


End file.
